Adaptation is Difficult

    Ah, yes, September. This month hits me like a goddamn train every year. For one, this is just a month before BOTH of my kids' birthdays. Also, I ALWAYS get sick. Allergies kick in and a massive sinus infection kicks my ass this time of year. Being sick is a pain anyway. Being sick when you're alone is just depressing. Literally depressing. I don't think anyone's really taken care of me when I was sick since I lived at home with my mommy, but still...having people around to *try to make you feel better is at least something. Breathing through my mouth constantly has caused my lips to become severely chapped. There's not enough Carmex in the whole goddamn world! Sitting around sniffling and feeling like you have a bag of fucking sand on your face just blows. So...I'm trying to take my mind off of the downward spiral. Hence writing in the bloggage. (Google does not recognize "bloggage" as a word. Meh.)

    Let's take a review of my life at the moment. I have been living on my own for 3 and a half months now. I have days when I'm tickled to be alone and days that I'm, well, lonely. The deciding factor is, of course, my mood. Yay! Ugh.... My mood. My mood is a little anime girl who can be a cute innocent playful thing and just as easily be a giant, snake-tongued monster; eating neighborhood cats. I've learned some things about myself. I've learned who I am. What I like and don't liked. What my problems are. What I need to work on. I have a lot to work on, trust me.

    I've taken to a strange habit. Coming home from work, stripping, and getting into bed. Of course I only do this when alone. Once into bed, I don't leave. Hmm... I have no motivation to do anything ever. I know I should. I should care. But I just don't. Same happens on the weekends except before 5 pm. I've become a lazy fuck. I have nothing to make me get out of bed though. When my kids are here, it's completely different. I hang out with them and do kid stuff. Kids are just the coolest thing ever. But, yeah when I'm alone like right fucking now, I sit around in my underwear. What's it to ya?

    I have not been on a date. Or even tried to go on one. Let's just say I'm not ready to dive right back into picking up someone else's socks. The life of a wife sucks. ...Probably should have made that rhyme. Ah, well. In fact, the only man I've been speaking to is a man who lives very very very far away. This is the perfect situation for me. I can speak to a man, learn his outlook and opinion, get "Good morning, gorgeous." messages (which every goddamn girl wants everyday for the rest of her life, so take note), but not worry about being alone in a room and feeling terribly awkward with him. I'm not above admitting that I like this guy because he is sort of perfect for me and if he showed up someday, I would most likely fall for him but I'm not looking that far into the future yet. So, for now, just talking about anything and everything will do. Like I said, it's perfect.

    So, how am I spending my nights. Why, here! On the damned internet, typing away and reading about things. I've gone out a couple times, hated it, and come home. I'll cut loose at some point, but at the moment I'm still inverted. Sort of like a hermit, but I have to go to work everyday and shower regularly. Like tonight, I'm getting out of the house!......to do laundry at another friend's house while we bitch about guys and eat junk food. Shyeah.....it's that awesome in my universe. You should come some time!